maybe partying will help

Saturday april 8 camden new jersey tweeter center
Something like a 10 hour drive up the 95 through the rain and the traffic and the bad drivers and the grilled cheese sandwiches or eggs Florentine or some such family restaurant dross. We make it anyhoo, to Camden, not to be confused with the self same yards in Baltimore or the market in engerland. Camden, like crackden, murder city, etc.
But alas, we are safe inside, in the bunker, with the fury just in from japan with the stones and showing off all thiose pix, I hook him up with the 8th day guys, and they are all atitter with the goss and what not about pm5/dvx/pg13nc17/blablabla.
The old school philly crew are running the show here so we are inb good hands for the before during and after party. Crib dogs play a great set rife with technical problems to which gaz reacts by launching a pint across the stage which will cost us a mythical soundcheck or two. The guys get a bit bent out of shape about it, but I try to assuage them by the fact that they were unlikely to get one anyhoo. They continue on that dead horse for hours, til we finally make it to our crab shack on 22nd street. Everyone scatters, a bit fucked off, myself and Hughes(aka psycho dave) and I jump in the fury/s Saturn and scoot over to the north star bar to catch the mighty wolf mother in action and are soon joined by ross and shippo, franz Ferdinand and the philly rock establishment. The bartender is making my mark just right so that I am comfortably scoobied. I help the ferdinands get to their bus call, and we take leave, saying goodbye to the fury and hello bedbugs. I believe that the psycho has attempted another wallet losing after party in the dorm room of the minds eye.
Sunday april 9 ithaca cornell university
So it is the usual drooling farting sleeping trek up through the poconos. Me, I drive.
We stop off in a little mom and pop diner for the soup and grilled cheese trick. Then continue on upstate, new york. I am very antsy. I can be home tonight, but no. we will stay in some form of crab shack in Ithaca. I got my jiffy lube, find the venue. Do the interviews, count the merch, blow off the soundcheck, play the show, pack the truck, eat at the diner, watch the baseball, dream the dream. The guys go out and get lacrossed with franz and death cab and crawl back as late as humanly possible. The psycho keeps me up all night trying to find his lost cel phone. Maybe partying will help.
Monday april 10 off nyc
Wake up get out of bed and drag the van across the road. Ross finds the psychos phone in the gutter, having been left out in the street all night. I debate keeping it, bit know that he will be borrowing mine all today to find his. It is not worth it. Thus we hammer down to nyc and the crab shack on the corner. Special ed, recently released from ricers, checks us in and it is all fucked up and someone should be fired over this. Butt fuck it! We go to Brooklyn, crawling through midtown traffic, and drop the guitars off at main drag for a fixing but old karl. I leave the boys off at joes busy corner, push some paper, go to ups, drink 40 pints of Guinness with the doctor and max. the lads get quasi/d at the knitting factory.
Tuesday april 11 washington dc constitution hall
It is beautiful down the mall, so I take a walk to take in the cherry blossoms and run into kris chen along the way. Now at xl, I guess I will be dealing with him on the peaches. Outside is the key, we flew down here in no time. I look at all the fatter than me americanos and wonder where it all went wrong, then I espy the white house and get my answer. Back inside for some catering and a quick hello to all the 930 staff, ed in particular. Back for the no soundcheck gig in the hall run by the d.a.r. and the guys have a rough one but fight through it. We load and leave and they groove their way back to nyc. Gaz and I go to the burg, daddys bar to be precise, and it is a veritable schmooze fest of bands and crew, art brut,rogers sisters, celebration, tv on the radio, cribs, etc. I make my mark and bounce. It is time to go to boston soon enough. The others hit up 9th avenue and can find nothing or no one. Apparently the rift between the crew is growing,one has offered to have the other kneecapped. Real nice.
Wednesday april 12 boston mass agannis arena
Straight up the merritt with the drooling snoring and farting. I drive, me. We make it in record time with james sandom in tow. Nice to have james back. A real straight shooter is this geez. Up to beantown and no mulberry, no malloy bros. A surgical strike. The crowd is thin, the kates is nervous(this is his hometown and they better show up) and the cribs , barefoot, hit one of those Johnny damon homeruns from the 2004 world series. The shock is felt in the cheap seats. Backs against the wall, they hit the grand slam in the upper deck.
Take that to the major labels.
We lock and load, I sleep the whole way down the merritt behind the wheel with some smooth jazz. The psycho stays behind in boston, and we make it in 3hrs50mins. I am certainly cream crackered.
Thursday april 13 hammerstein ballroom nyc
A soundcheck, followed by the show of the tour. If last night was in the upper deck, this one was out of the park. Fucking spot on. The guys hang about the show, I hit up marys bar(not that one) on 46th for some oysters and anchor steam, have a good rant with mr ward and mulhollan, soon joined by mr hennessy, we drink our way over to jimmys corner bar where some bald Puerto Ricans rub jimbo the wrong way and he won/t let it go. I put the kibosh on the whole evening,, join them for 30 seconds at Siberia and get the fuck out of dodge. Heading down town to the after party at lo fi or c lo or something. The drinks are still flowing, all cribs, crew and ferdinands are still about, and myself and angela c and dan Hadley from queens and death cab fame roll the rock to motor city where I meet up with tam ui from the olden days. Francesca hosts the event with aplomb, there is major league inebriation involved. I do not remember leaving, but boy did I feel the wake up. Obviously partying does help.
Friday april 14 hammerstein ballroom
A very ugly morning involving Laundromats, solpadeine, ginger ale, shouting matches, nausea(no although I may look preggers, I am not). I make it to the Hammerstein in time for some eejit to ram my car whilst run from undercover officers and straight into the midtown south precinct. I help smashton unload her truck as some of my gear is going with it to Detroit. She calls it military punishment. I am screwed, still scoobied, me thinks , and nothing is working. I go fill out a police report, say hey to ms lowe and mr sclavunos. Try to catch up, answer more q/s about the nononose. Bring my guys off stage, say hey to Emily from the Dresden dolls and good byes to the goodguys kates and sandom and roll our rock to Kingston where we hit up arties and slapper magees and see the wee hours. The boys have nailed another gem in nyc, the psycho has committed another tour faux pas. Nothing new there.
Saturday april 15 cepsum montreal
A very long drive up I87 and no one to help do it as they are still drunk and hungover. The border is excruciatingly painful and time consuming. I start to get testy, but think better of it. We get lost on the way to the venue, franz pa actually yells at me, to which I vocally count to ten. Don/t want to get kicked off the tour at this juncture. We are in a hockey rink tonight that is capacity when the cribs take the stage. They hit this one in the parking lot. I am very impressed, and I hope that they are very pleased. We again load and leave back to the hotel. I am beat, manage to do a couple of days accounting, and pass out. They guys have gone on to the green room on st Laurent nord with all sorts of franz and death cabbies. Psycho does not show up until it is almost time to go to Toronto.
Sunday april 16 toronto off
Happy easter and jillys appears to be closed. Fuck it. The driver takes forever, the drooling snoring and farting makes me think that I am in some form of akc kennel for demented dogs. I continue to hammer down towards Ontario. I am meeting the future prime minister of Australia and his wife for the Indian food, and the Guinness too. They take me to the danforth and the gerrard street Indian bazaar for some curry. I am completely spent. And not much fun, but it is good to see the newlyweds.The crib dogs actually take the night off. Go figure.