police blotter

two unidentified individuals were dragged shackled and disheveled from a dingy and downmarket double wide somewhere between homestead and key largo. Exact location not being divulged at the time of going to press. The male suspect is described as 6 foot , 300 lbs, of failing health and a brown afro style wig dressed in flip flops, a dirty wife beater, and something ine between a sarong and an adult diaper. The female individual , 30’s, slender frame, dyed black bob, and an ‘izevestia’ tattoo on her tail bone was arrested in a bikini only. Inside the externally broken down double wide was a modern A/V system, multiple burner cel phones, weeks worth of fast food containers, a reinforced king sized bed, gold spray painted bathroom, and a large mirrored dog carrier bolted to the walls and floor. There is what appears to be a fortified outbuilding outfitted for drug cooking of some capapcity , and a rough helicopter landing pad cut into the sugar cane nearby, with a wide pedestrian path and motion senser lights along the path. Miami- dade record search of ownership shows no discernible ownership. Authorities were tipped off to the unusual circumstances by a Venezuelan uber driver who had made multiple 1 way runs to the property with what he surmised were Eastern European escorts bearing carloads of fast food and suitcases. The two individuals are being held without bail on multiple of charges at Metrowest Detention center until their identities can be determined.