killin time

like clint eastwoods gun

Sunday april 23 winnipeg burton cummings theatre
So aside from putting tractor diesel in the van and driving in circles to get to the ‘peg, it is an easy ride in. we make it to the venue in time for some catering and an interview with a young lass who has already lined up the after party. We like that in the street team. The cribs have a rough one, at which point I retire to the hotel to try and wash the diesel out of my clothes. Franz Ferdinand play a scorcher of show, alex and nick keep jumping in the crowd to the delight of the Manitobans. It is a boisterous bunch, and definitely a franz friendly show. I arrive in our dressing room in time to see that it has been trashed completely. I advise the little piglets to do some cleaning(I am still waiting for the bill). And hot foot it in the snow, smelling of diesel, over to the kings head. I join our hostess and a few of her mates and soon the whole death cab crew, a few cribs, ben from death cab and of course all of the franz boys save the expectant father. Mr lajeunesse from seattle is our host for the week and the party is on. Thankfully we only drive 500 miles tomorrow. The franz boys blow their bus call once again. Thus the bus arrives to collect them. I debate attaching our van to the back, but opt for the streets.
Monday april 24 the road to Saskatoon
Uneventful 500 mile drive through some beautifully flooded countryside. I nearly hit a duck that is playing chicken by attempting suicide by econoline. Quacker ass quacker.
We stop for some patty melts and poutine somewhere and back in the van and onwards to Saskatoon. No water slide, no pool. But dvd/s. shippo, ross and I go to tony romas for ribs and pints. The end is near.
Tuesday april 25 edmonton shaw conference centre
Another blasé drive through the outback, I am one tired individual, to be sure. Not much to report other than the security guard threatens ry, which naturally makes him unhappy, and the boys do not even hit it out of the infield. I am still bummed as I got lost on the way in. I watch death cab bring the house down, for about 6 songs. Are they a top band or what? I am won over, that’s for sure. I miss all of franz and the after party in the sky to indulge myself in a flea pit hotel and the latest merch numbers.
Wednesday april 26 calgary stampede corral
Easy drive and a great country breakfast at a place called grumpys on the way in. the lads are in good shape, full of laughs from the night before. We are playing in a rodeo hall or something like that. It is big and booming and there appears to be very few people there(though they too buy the merch in mad numbers). We pretty much play and go, try to capitalize on the daylight on the grueling 600 mile drive through the Canadian rockies. After 3 hours of getting nowhere really, we pull off in golden , british Columbia for 8 hours of a hotel room. Secretary is on the box, which is the last movie I need to see on the lonesome road. I fall asleep wishing that I was james spader.
Thursday april 27 the road to vansterdam
A gorgeous drive through british Columbia. Shippo gets some time in behind the wheel and we pass places called dead mans flat and kicking horse creek. Wc fields would be in nirvana. I am beat, manage to watch some hoops at the hotel whilst being poisoned by room service. At which point I head over to the end of tour party in a nice spacious pub with lots of red wine, not enough soakage, some hockey, a lot of good company, and an after party that I never quite make. I manage to stub and or break my toe kicking something to the curb, hang out in a very bizarre strip club called cecils(the eternal question of how to tip coin) for one molson Canadian and get the flock out. Judging by the state of everyone else that I see in the lobby, it was not necessarily a quiet night out.

why a title?

Monday april 17 toronto ricoh centre
A day of internet and accounting and across the road samosas, and maybe even a bit of gossip from another tour which I find a bit of told ya so. I hammer onwards with the work, the psycho sleeps and drools his way through another bender. God only knows what tonight brings as it is a show day. We assemble at the agreed upon hour and cut across town through the u.b.o./s and wakie wakie/s. Toronto is surely a beautiful city, and the ricoh is back to the scene of the crime of last years franz Ferdinand hockey debacle. Gig is sold out, catering is great, crowd is a bit unresponsive for the crib dogs. I get on with the job of saying hey to ms rosenbaum, and the prime minister and Kelly, of course. I beg off early with all the gear, back to the hotel, and the phoenix suns beating the shite out of someone. Like yankee games in japan, all suns games are broadcast in Canada, it seems. The guys have a ‘mad un’ for a change.
Tuesday april 18 detroit state theatre
An easy drive from t town and a breeze of a border crossing. Must be the whole brothers jarman thing. ‘which one is gary?’, ain/t you? Fuck if I know, like.
Anyhoo, tgo the motor city, as it were and the state theatre, conveniently across from Comerica park, though the tigers ain/t in town.
A languid day, to be sure. Do some emails, make some calls, line up the aftershow(thanks greg!). the catering is brilliant, catfish, if I remember correctly, with some mac and cheese topped with a provocative sauce of I cannae remember beyond yesterdays taco john shit sandwich, but, suffice to say that the catering was brillo, and I am not one to miss many meals, matey. So yes, back to the rock and that is the reason why we are here. I watch the show with mr baise and ms hardy (of murder city devils fame) and their respective s.o./s. good stuff. And yes ben Blackwell is in the house with his missus, invited by no less than 3 people. So it is still on with the rock, and less of the name dropping, and the cribs park it in the cheap seats quite nicely ce soir. I pack it up with the psycho and move it back to the hotel, where we quickly grab a cab and take it up barside at the stick. They are determined not to get me drunk(no makers, no jameson, the Guinness is scheisse), so instead they drop the bitters in the bushmills(sorry, babe, it is indeed proddy shite!) and I simply concentrate on conversing with the hardy girls and mr dan Hadley, ‘lights’, to his friends. And it is a proper death crib for Ferdinand show tonight. They are all rolling perfect games with out a Haynes in sight. The baise is bringing the noise nicely, and I sneak out, ghost move style, back to the shack. Gots to drive to chitown for the early one manana.
Wednesday april 19 chicago aragon
Nothing good to say, except that I see no one. The finkleman tries to get me out, I want to kill the veejits(nothing new there), everyone blows van call so I blow a gasket, and we hit the road for Rockford with nary a hello to the windy city, ceptin the gorgeous ride in on lakeshore drive. The veejits ruin the show, extenuating circumstances ruin my day.
Thursday april 20 minneapolis Northrop auditorium
With the onset of daylight savings, we are no longer playing in the dark. I line up the after drinks at the Sullivan brothers bar on cedar. That is my major accomplishment, that and speaking with mi Corazon in the emerald isle. It is a thin crowd who are seated. We lock and load. It is the psychos last night. God only knows what kind of mess he is going to make. We head immediately to the bar for the brown liquor and whatever practical joke they are going to play, which turns out to be nought. They all get drunk, I shoot the breeze with the Sullivan brothers, it is another death crib for Ferdinand kinda night. Mr gibbard even has dad in tow, and I am sorry to say that I do not meet dad. Tis a pity really, as I am sure he is both very proud of his son , and a good guy to boot. I leave with all the cribs, the shippo and the psycho chase the night until it is taxi time. Goodbye cribs hello dresdens.
Friday april 21 madison Orpheum sans franz
Whattya know, we stop for diesel in camp fucknose, and the nozzle explodes diesel all over me, I smell like an amateur anarchists living room. Covered in the shite, I nearly puke my way to Madison. We get to the states capitol, and check into our very nice digs across from the capitol itself, eat a Cornish pasty, get a fake jiffy lube. They don/t have a diesel filter. I tell em that they can use my jeans(or as the jarmans would say, ‘so is it safe to say that you are wearing diesel jeans dell boy?’). a whole lot of running around, but things get done, and we now have adam on our side as our sound engineer(he of the blood brothers and mudhoney fame). Shippo and I lock and load, dump the van, watch a clint eastwood movie, hit up the paradise on main for bratwurst and a highlife or three and yes, the drunkest guy in the joint has bought a sandwich for the biggest girl in the place and it just warms the cockles of my heart, reminding me of those halcyon days of the sweetwater and baby jakes and the stupider than Jupiter late nights. I pop my head in the martini bar next door, and there is our entire touring entourage having a bratwurst free sausage party of their own. Everyone gets heroically drunk and goes their separate ways.
Thanks Madison, yr a true lady. Did I forget to mention that both the cribs and death cab brought the house down? Real cool night out.
Saturday april 22 fargo nd
So it is a travel day and I have done the ups thing to get our shit out west, and no it is time to get ourselves out west. We hammer down, stopping for a taco johns(case of beer, quesadilla, case of water) and find ourselves in a bug splattered submarine in fargo north dakota on a Saturday night. I leave the lads in the lurch and find the maddest strip club with the most botox I have seen outside of vegas. I knock back a few grain belts, watch the clippers game, do not go to the rail(too many fatter fucks in backwards baseball caps smells like a broken jaw). I beat the street and take some photos of the neon on broadway. Not a bad night off.

maybe partying will help

Saturday april 8 camden new jersey tweeter center
Something like a 10 hour drive up the 95 through the rain and the traffic and the bad drivers and the grilled cheese sandwiches or eggs Florentine or some such family restaurant dross. We make it anyhoo, to Camden, not to be confused with the self same yards in Baltimore or the market in engerland. Camden, like crackden, murder city, etc.
But alas, we are safe inside, in the bunker, with the fury just in from japan with the stones and showing off all thiose pix, I hook him up with the 8th day guys, and they are all atitter with the goss and what not about pm5/dvx/pg13nc17/blablabla.
The old school philly crew are running the show here so we are inb good hands for the before during and after party. Crib dogs play a great set rife with technical problems to which gaz reacts by launching a pint across the stage which will cost us a mythical soundcheck or two. The guys get a bit bent out of shape about it, but I try to assuage them by the fact that they were unlikely to get one anyhoo. They continue on that dead horse for hours, til we finally make it to our crab shack on 22nd street. Everyone scatters, a bit fucked off, myself and Hughes(aka psycho dave) and I jump in the fury/s Saturn and scoot over to the north star bar to catch the mighty wolf mother in action and are soon joined by ross and shippo, franz Ferdinand and the philly rock establishment. The bartender is making my mark just right so that I am comfortably scoobied. I help the ferdinands get to their bus call, and we take leave, saying goodbye to the fury and hello bedbugs. I believe that the psycho has attempted another wallet losing after party in the dorm room of the minds eye.
Sunday april 9 ithaca cornell university
So it is the usual drooling farting sleeping trek up through the poconos. Me, I drive.
We stop off in a little mom and pop diner for the soup and grilled cheese trick. Then continue on upstate, new york. I am very antsy. I can be home tonight, but no. we will stay in some form of crab shack in Ithaca. I got my jiffy lube, find the venue. Do the interviews, count the merch, blow off the soundcheck, play the show, pack the truck, eat at the diner, watch the baseball, dream the dream. The guys go out and get lacrossed with franz and death cab and crawl back as late as humanly possible. The psycho keeps me up all night trying to find his lost cel phone. Maybe partying will help.
Monday april 10 off nyc
Wake up get out of bed and drag the van across the road. Ross finds the psychos phone in the gutter, having been left out in the street all night. I debate keeping it, bit know that he will be borrowing mine all today to find his. It is not worth it. Thus we hammer down to nyc and the crab shack on the corner. Special ed, recently released from ricers, checks us in and it is all fucked up and someone should be fired over this. Butt fuck it! We go to Brooklyn, crawling through midtown traffic, and drop the guitars off at main drag for a fixing but old karl. I leave the boys off at joes busy corner, push some paper, go to ups, drink 40 pints of Guinness with the doctor and max. the lads get quasi/d at the knitting factory.
Tuesday april 11 washington dc constitution hall
It is beautiful down the mall, so I take a walk to take in the cherry blossoms and run into kris chen along the way. Now at xl, I guess I will be dealing with him on the peaches. Outside is the key, we flew down here in no time. I look at all the fatter than me americanos and wonder where it all went wrong, then I espy the white house and get my answer. Back inside for some catering and a quick hello to all the 930 staff, ed in particular. Back for the no soundcheck gig in the hall run by the d.a.r. and the guys have a rough one but fight through it. We load and leave and they groove their way back to nyc. Gaz and I go to the burg, daddys bar to be precise, and it is a veritable schmooze fest of bands and crew, art brut,rogers sisters, celebration, tv on the radio, cribs, etc. I make my mark and bounce. It is time to go to boston soon enough. The others hit up 9th avenue and can find nothing or no one. Apparently the rift between the crew is growing,one has offered to have the other kneecapped. Real nice.
Wednesday april 12 boston mass agannis arena
Straight up the merritt with the drooling snoring and farting. I drive, me. We make it in record time with james sandom in tow. Nice to have james back. A real straight shooter is this geez. Up to beantown and no mulberry, no malloy bros. A surgical strike. The crowd is thin, the kates is nervous(this is his hometown and they better show up) and the cribs , barefoot, hit one of those Johnny damon homeruns from the 2004 world series. The shock is felt in the cheap seats. Backs against the wall, they hit the grand slam in the upper deck.
Take that to the major labels.
We lock and load, I sleep the whole way down the merritt behind the wheel with some smooth jazz. The psycho stays behind in boston, and we make it in 3hrs50mins. I am certainly cream crackered.
Thursday april 13 hammerstein ballroom nyc
A soundcheck, followed by the show of the tour. If last night was in the upper deck, this one was out of the park. Fucking spot on. The guys hang about the show, I hit up marys bar(not that one) on 46th for some oysters and anchor steam, have a good rant with mr ward and mulhollan, soon joined by mr hennessy, we drink our way over to jimmys corner bar where some bald Puerto Ricans rub jimbo the wrong way and he won/t let it go. I put the kibosh on the whole evening,, join them for 30 seconds at Siberia and get the fuck out of dodge. Heading down town to the after party at lo fi or c lo or something. The drinks are still flowing, all cribs, crew and ferdinands are still about, and myself and angela c and dan Hadley from queens and death cab fame roll the rock to motor city where I meet up with tam ui from the olden days. Francesca hosts the event with aplomb, there is major league inebriation involved. I do not remember leaving, but boy did I feel the wake up. Obviously partying does help.
Friday april 14 hammerstein ballroom
A very ugly morning involving Laundromats, solpadeine, ginger ale, shouting matches, nausea(no although I may look preggers, I am not). I make it to the Hammerstein in time for some eejit to ram my car whilst run from undercover officers and straight into the midtown south precinct. I help smashton unload her truck as some of my gear is going with it to Detroit. She calls it military punishment. I am screwed, still scoobied, me thinks , and nothing is working. I go fill out a police report, say hey to ms lowe and mr sclavunos. Try to catch up, answer more q/s about the nononose. Bring my guys off stage, say hey to Emily from the Dresden dolls and good byes to the goodguys kates and sandom and roll our rock to Kingston where we hit up arties and slapper magees and see the wee hours. The boys have nailed another gem in nyc, the psycho has committed another tour faux pas. Nothing new there.
Saturday april 15 cepsum montreal
A very long drive up I87 and no one to help do it as they are still drunk and hungover. The border is excruciatingly painful and time consuming. I start to get testy, but think better of it. We get lost on the way to the venue, franz pa actually yells at me, to which I vocally count to ten. Don/t want to get kicked off the tour at this juncture. We are in a hockey rink tonight that is capacity when the cribs take the stage. They hit this one in the parking lot. I am very impressed, and I hope that they are very pleased. We again load and leave back to the hotel. I am beat, manage to do a couple of days accounting, and pass out. They guys have gone on to the green room on st Laurent nord with all sorts of franz and death cabbies. Psycho does not show up until it is almost time to go to Toronto.
Sunday april 16 toronto off
Happy easter and jillys appears to be closed. Fuck it. The driver takes forever, the drooling snoring and farting makes me think that I am in some form of akc kennel for demented dogs. I continue to hammer down towards Ontario. I am meeting the future prime minister of Australia and his wife for the Indian food, and the Guinness too. They take me to the danforth and the gerrard street Indian bazaar for some curry. I am completely spent. And not much fun, but it is good to see the newlyweds.The crib dogs actually take the night off. Go figure.

there were rumors........

Thursday april 6 tabercrackle Atlanta, ga
Last show sans franz, and a wee bit hungover in the morgen. I hit up the restaurant next to the hotel for a fantastic lunch of mussels and Caesar salad,then back to the highland for the paper work thing. Unfortunately we have a show today replete with the prehistoric hospitality or lack thereof. What can you say to these local yokels. For my money , if you have to say it, there is no point. Suffice to say that with the exception of the crib dogs kicking some serious ass, I see very little of the joint. I eat a buffalo steak at ted/s Montana steak house with a glass of j lohr central coast cab. Today will be a day of self indulgence. I drop everyone back to the hotel, push more paper , and then go off to meet the twins at the Clermont. I can see that they are seriously shaken by the creepiness of the Clermont. I jump right in, and ry gets in the spirit. Pretty soon they are all at it, what with the pbr, the move on dot org, the clackety clack, and the draft Guinness. In spite of it all, we close the place. Mustn/t let the side down, like.
Friday april 8 duke university Cameron stadium
A murderous drive from Atlanta. I am too cream crackered for this scheisse, but slog on. We stop for a hardees somewheres in south cackalackie and hammer down. Check into the crab shack du jour, and scoot over to the alcohol frei coach k burg. Spring has sprung in durham, nc. That and the topic of the lacrosse gang rape extravaganza. Nice work with lots of evidence to boot. I am a little concerned that the brothers jarman might slip with some form of indiscretion, but hey, throw caution to the wind. No soundcheck again as it is back to a three band bill. We have to bring our own booze in, and the place sounds like shit, but hey, there is a chair in our dressing room that Christian laetner probably tossed some salad on. Blue devil basketball, and enough chilfs around for har mar to clog the plumbing in the Cameron stadium. Very talented, indeed.
The cribs get it going about 30 seconds after doors and fight through the beerbonged apathy of the early crowd. In the end, they win em over. I miss half the set dealing with Canadian importation scheisse, but am impressed with the crowd reaction in the end. We set a load out record and get the flock out before we are lacrossed. Everyone is in bed by 11pm.

see you next tuesday

Wed march 29 austin the backyard
Easily one of the nicest venues I have yet to visit in this country. The back stage area is dotted with little bungalows for our hospitality suites. The catgering is the best of the tour thus far. Very gourmet Mexican, and the weather seems to be holding up. Willie nelson was playing here a couple of weeks back, but I believe the Hughes and I were driving to California that day.
There are easily 5000 people for the cribs at 7pm. The guys are once again, unfazed. Fearless seems to be the norm with the brothers jarman. And they continue to knock it out of the park. I cannot remember who is next, franz, I believe, and they are tight and consistent as ever to the roar of the crowd. We stay for about 20 minutes of death cab who have really taken their whole operation to another level. A major league rock and roll band. Very impressive stuff from the boys from Bellingham. We bang it out back to the crab shack, and the after party in the sky, which comes courtesy of the beauty bar and Jason from trail of the dead. All of our submariners and the franz boys not to mention some of the trail of the dead guys, the bush twins, and various ausitn hipsters. At 2am , I smell a rat of sorts, or at least a solpadeine type morning, and I drag the brothers jarman back to the crab shack, trouble free.
Thursday march 30 verizon wireless amphitheatre, Houston
The drive is nice and easy southeast. We stop for some bbq, or as ross would say, has anyone noticed that the only thing that we have eaten on this tour is taco bell and bbq. I opt for the bbq chicken and it is rockin. The rest of the drive is a breeze, and we check in to our best western near the venue, and it is super sweet. Nice beds, dsl, clean, Jacuzzi and pool, and a plethora of displaced crackers courtesy of hurricane Katrina(or maybe that is the universal excuse for general ineptitude in this part of the country). Anyhoo, over to the venue for more tour type of stuff, we are working out here, don/t ya know.
For the cribs, it proves to be the stinker of the tour. There appears to be no one there at 730pm.. the guys are well happy, and I have the video coverage to prove it. Myself, shippo , and the Hughes do the right thing and get out of dodge as soon as we load the guitars. Law and order, paper work, a Jacuzzi with some extras from a Houston cops episode(v. scary) and a sound nights sleep. The brothers jarman, on the other hand are on some form of razzle dazzle with the two headliners. Nothing new there.
Friday march 31 nokia theatre grand prairie texas
Some ass hole nearly runs me off the road, which potentially spoils my life for the foreseeable future(life is short, death is long). Funnily enough, there is no cel coverage at the nokia theatre, but hey, it is Friday and I need to talk to no one. Try to clean the van out, as these cribs are slobs, but then again, what rockers aren/t. still there is some scary scheisse back there in the van. What ev/s. rachel howard is here tonight with robin from rubber glove(a club in denton, fool). It is also our last night with franz for a week. I guess that they have some recording up their sleeves. The hardest working cats in show business, eh. The guys play a killer show, again to a crowd like Houston. The proof is in the merch pudding. Since we left vegas, the numbers have plummeted. Perhaps the jack ass ass jackin president has bankrupted his own homestate. I leave the band in the capable hands of ms. Howard and ms. Phillips(they take the lads on a whirlwind tour of north texas and the grassy knoll) and head back to the crab shack, which appears to be hosting the north texas plains cracker convention(maybe, that is why we are staying here) . myself , shippo, and the Hughes pick up some whataburger and some hi lifes and do the law and order thing. The Hughes has sussed some after party in the sky with the vitamin water peeps, and I brace myself for the drive to Tulsa.
Saturday april 1(really) cains ballroom, Tulsa ok
1st day sans franz, the drive is easy peasy, we get a lube job from a nice Christian family in ok city, see wayne coyne nowhere, and motor on to our hotel in downtown Tulsa. A heated rooftop pool and the weather to enjoy it. We cruise over to the venue in time for a languorous soundcheck, I stash the bottle of jim beam, and am shown the evidence of the sex pistols performance there nearly 20 years ago(sids fist through the dry wall, mounted in the office. This place is awesome. It smells of history, the home of bob wills and his texas playboys. The line is down the block at 5pm. You can feel a good show coming.
And that is precisely what goes down, the cribs nail the show of the tour for my money. It must be the addition of the european lager to the rider. The crew takes all of the gear back to the hotel, and I enjoy ucla trouncing lsu in the final four. I walk back to the venue and just beat the violent electrical storm that seems to be shadowing us since we left Austin 2 weeks ago. It is mad, but I settle the show, grab an umbrella, and scoot over to lola/s, a little tapas bar down the road. I am soon joined by the Hughes and shippo and two broads from girls gone wild or outback steakhouse or somewhere other than Tulsa. The muzak stinks up the place, so we bounce around the corner to caz/s bar, where nearly the entire tour party is assembled en masse, which is great to do some bonding and hi hey hello how are yas. Many makers and sodas, and too many modest mouse songs later, ross and I beg off and disappear back to the crowne with the pm from cains. A good night had by all, you can/t beat the tertiaries.
Sunday april 2 off Lawrence Kansas
A beautiful drive northeast off the interstate on a blustery Sunday. We stop somewhere in Kansas with the Mennonites for a big hearty country breakfast. Real nice. It is opening day for mlb. Very exciting. Chisox v the tribe. That is my agenda for the evening. We get to the ssummerhill, and I go for a swim in their underground pool and wash the rags. This is no crab shack, here. Thanks be to jaysus. Everyone scatters like a proper day off, I go to the jayhawker and get poisoned, shippo and the Hughes carry the torch for all cribs personnel by closing the gaslight.
Monday april 3 omaha sokol underground sans franz
So it is the comfort inn after an easy drive up I29. we get to the venue and it all comes flooding back to me. The miserable experience of my previous trip there with y cubed. I avoid much of the whole thing, staying outside as long as humanly possible. The band plays a great show, which seems redundant, as I have only seen one ‘bad one’ on the tour.
I go back with the gear and watch ucla get trounced by florida in the ncaa finals. The fucking gators play basketball. Go figure. No joy in l.a. this year, until reggie matt and lendale all get drafted in the top ten, and farmar superstar goes to the nba. Back to the venue to taxi death cab(oxymoron?) around the side, and give ross a lift back to the hotel.
Everyone else gets their drink on, and whatever transpires involving midget throwing and beer bonging and god knows what else carries on until day light. The atmosphere is tense, the jarmans bury the knife and ill will and hangdog expressions abound.
Tuesday april 4 st louis pageant theatre sans franz
We make it in record time from Omaha, eat some crappy food, play a killer show, sign some cd/s, pack the van, watch two songs of death cab, and slowboat it to the southeast, stopping in Kentucky lakes, ky, successfully putting the ky in Kentucky. The poisonous air of the morning appears to be cleared.
Wednesday april 5 atlanta the tabernacle sans franz
This drive blows. It takes us 60 minutes to get through Murfreesboro, tn(that is 3 miles) I catch up on some gossip, whilst everyone sleeps off the drive. The cherry blossoms are in bloom in the smoky mountains and I have relocated to southeastern tn in my mind. As dtuy and hunger calls. We pull into the bbq corral in ringgold, ga for some top shelf bbq(put some south in your mouth, hmmm). I opt for the pork free option of cornmeal crusted catfish and turnip greens and it is cheap and stellar. 100 miles more and we are in hotlanta. The venue is old and beautiful and apparently home to the house of blues during the 96 olympics. There are quite a few folks in attendance for the criblets, who play a killer show once again. The set is so solid. Read my lips, this is the band to watch in 2007. hell , they are the band to watch in ’06, but who is counting. We pack up and head over to the highland, dropping the guitars into the rooms. The guys go back to get their swirl on, I opt for dinner downstairs(halibut, tomato soup, garnacha, irish coffee, yum!) then the requisite trip to the Clermont lounge. Draft Guinness, strip bar karaoke, some Williamsburg hipsters, blondy, a very hospitable bartender, and some very strange goings on. I try to get the cribs down, to no avail. The are whirlyballing with death cab(in bump[er cars, no less). I sleep a solid six hours. The Hughes is MIA.

we are the hooligans

Monday march 28
Centennial hall tuscon az
The drive from vegas is amazing. We take in the hoover dam, and southwards down u.s . 95, through the high desert. I doubt that the lads have seen scenery like this. We stop for a hearty country breakfast in wikieup, az, in some weird Navajo shop/peacock farm, but, hey, the ham and eggs are rocking. Eventually we touch down at the university of tuscon, which of course, is alcohol free. This policy is decidedly not cribs friendly. But I see that they are flexible and do quite well with a bottle of vodka. I think they play a bit sloppily, but it is a seated reserved venue. Who can tell who is into what, at this stage. We stay for a bit of franz and death cab, but head back to our hotel and ultimately 80/s night at club congress. Well, when we get to the crab shack, and I refuse to sign some affidavit absolving the hotel of any theft, the wee gang banger and his heroine addict of a co worker give me visions of big Russell crowe on the late nite tip at the mercer hotel. I am playing relatively cool, but I am thinking about that house telephone flying across the room and putting this cat on his ear. ‘yo you don’t haveta stay here, we got no time for this’. I love ghetto slang at 150usd per night. Beware of the riverpark inn. It might be good enough for the white sox, but it aint welcoming to y/all road dawgs. They conveniently lose our reservations, we reload the van, drive to the congress hotel, check ourselves in and head straight into the makers and sodas(with bitters, of course, the redd foxx). The brits warm up in their rooms, and the weegies and what not arrive en masse for the after party in the sky. The Hughes seems to manage to find yet more people to continue the party with. It all goes down in room 231 or something like that. I beg off early, dreading the 925 mile drive in the morning.
Tuesday march 29
On the road to bob knows where
A bit of congress café for heart stopping breakfast, Chicago music for one stop shopping, and I10 east for the ultimate hammer down. We drive through everything, and there is so much road kill, I am sure that it is actually raining cats and dogs. We drive through rain of biblical proportions, I nearly hit a dead coyote and a couple of hundred deer. Finally we find an oasis in ozona, that super 8 rocks. The pool looks like a set from boogie nights, and at 45usd per night, we will take it. Only 200 miles back to Austin.

show me the monkey

angelina zooma zooma

Monday march 20
As har mar says, we are raw dogging it. At 6 am , I am faced with the dilemma of cutting through Joshua tree national park and the Tehachapi/s and adding another 100 miles to the journey, or sitting in traffic from san bernadino to Bakersfield via the los angeles morning commute. A no brainer there, but no coyotes this time. Stop for a cup of joe in jt proper and hammer down through the Mojave and onwards. A beautiful state , California. Miles and miles of I 5 and the scenic 152, and yet another thunder storm. We stop by the independent, pick up our swag, and hit up the hotel. We beat the band, but by doing so, I am beat. No energy for no body. I make a few half hearted attempts to meet some peeps, but I am bushed. The band arrives after two flights from Austin, and I hook em up with HEY NOW for a scenic view of the city courtesy of a yellow cab. An early day manana, and 600 miles.
Tuesday march 22
Everyone is on board and we are rolling at 1015am north bound to pdx. I think these cribs be digging the sites of Shasta and the siskiyous. We make the requisite stops for grub, and the Ashland wild oats for the vitamins and throat coat and the rest. Sweet drive, beautiful day. We roll into the Jupiter hotel at half past 9, and leg it straight to the doug fir for some grub and fat tire. The zenk arrives with divilment in mind, mel mac is a bit subdued. Gaz legs it to his lady/s joint, along with brother ry. The Hughes splits off with a friend of his leaving junior and shippo in the zenk and i/s able hands. Union jacks it is dog, for the night no less. Hey, it ain/t pdx without a a trip to the peelers.
Wednesday march 23
Portland memorial coliseum SOLD OUT
The whole tour is, so lets not be redundant. We say our hellos, get the lube job, count the merch, scatter and get ready for 6 weeks of 6 boys in a van playing 30 minutes. There is an easy 3000 people there for the lads, and they are won over quite quickly. Hard not to see why, these kids rock. A real live rock band with pop sensibilities. Sound like a cliché? Read on. Unfortunately the glamour of the situation is short lived, we catch a few stolen moments from franz and death cab, pack our shite and drive a tough 250 to grants pass. A nice little motel on the side of the road and 5 hours of scattered slumber. But hey, no snow.
Thursday march 24
Sacramento memorial hall
A beautiful run back through the siskiyous and a stop for souvenirs in weed, ca. We are in arnie land tonight. The venue is a gorgeous Spanish style town hall, and the line at 330pm is impressive. I check us into the crab shack across the road, quite excited to be out of the van. It is day 2 so there is yet to be a s/check for my cribs, but the vibe is good. Real relaxed and California. No sign of the governator or his anorexic botox addict wife. Hell ,even scott Peterson is in prison this week. The guys go up not long after doors and man are they growing one me. The young crowd is well into it, this my space scheisse really works. I thought that was a brothel for wireless set, but apparently it is a music search thang as well. Who know? I get paid and hang outside with one of the big cheese from goldenvoice shooting the breeze on j street. For me there is no franz or death cab tonight, I go back to the crab shack, peel off the plasticene sheets, and drool my way to Friday. Good ol Hughes rolls his rock in the wee hours. This guy is rolling.
Friday march 25 reno Hilton pavilion
Man what a humbling 2 hour trip through the donner pass. The last time I went through here with death cabs tm, I think that there was 2 feet of snow and we were trying (successfully) to figure out how to put on chains. Not today boyo(though there is much consternation later when the l.a. bound tour party get turned away from the pass due to no chains). We are playing in the ballroom of the reno Hilton, I am sure several thousand white trash debutantes of tied the temporary knot in this joint. Fuck it. Mr duston gives us 3 of death cabs rooms in the hotel, a sweet gesture that I will take full advantage of with the wi fi and the view of the north desert and the high thread count sheets and of course the not have to drive after show.
The cribs are rolling along and starting to gain speed. They kick it again tonight, and yes, they are my new favorite band. The capacity crowd is giving up lots of love tonight, and we do record merch numbers again. I am delighted. A real live rock and roll band, on a real live rock and roll tour. We get packed up, I drive gaz over to the hotel, and leave the rest of the musketeers to their own devices, which tonight is bar bands, black jack(not to be confused with ass jack), roulette, jack daniels, and god knows what else. I law and order my way to sleep. Contented.
Saturday march 26
Hiway 95 through the old mining country, dry lakes, area 51, Indian reservations, dust storms, tuna melts and ultimately we arrive in vegas. Back to the crab shack across from the hard rock on paradise. I am doubling down tonight with the odg, whom I have not seen properly since a drunken game of hoops outside the mermaid in the crescent city several years ago at a pan sonic/trans am gig. The odg looks great, fatherhood suits him, as does the desert clime of lost vegas. We chew the fat about the days gone by and who did what to whom and where when and why. Nice to reminisce. He has to shoot through, the cribs and crew have gone off to the strip, so I set off in search of another dive bar or the tender trap or anything that will pull the truck off of my chest. I manage to get completely scoobied and head back to the double d at 2 am in search of something like fun. A few more shiners and makers mark or is it miller high life and the clash and ramones and specials and please god no more LOCAL bands.. I beg off to the crab shack, and the Hughes is still not in.
Sunday march 27 las vegas house of blues
No smashton tonight so I am merchie onassis, total bummer for me. I am stuck on the floor of the Mandalay bay casino selling no merch. The cribs are rocking, something along the lines of ry greeting the crowd in his wakefield drawl to the tune of ‘hello las vegas, i/m elvis fucking presley’. The crowd is well up for it, they are suitably warmed up for death cab to knock it out of the park. Of course, I miss the whole fucking thing, barely making the van back to the crab shack(only bit 16 times this time). The guys hit up the hard rock, I beg off thinking about the 500 miles of b roads tomorrow a.m. viva las vegas