donny's in the basement

Typical. That corpulent cunt casting himself down here as some lazy boy lothario lying around down here like a bleached whale whining of the state of his union. Epstein is not around and Maxwell is in stir. Where/s his pubescent pussy” the bleached whale wails, blowing out the last remanants of his relevance to the mildly curious throngs gathered on the digital beach, hoping for someone anyone everyone to stand up and stand tall help their hero from his putrid predicament. Yet, the only thing his legions offer are screen shots of his more mocking missives to be framed for friends and family this festive season. A blind remembrance of the last great days of their Amerikkka , courtesy of the local piggly wiggly. No, this pasty tub of goo does not seem particularly strong or manly, as the ghost writers and gack dealers trip over themselves for a piece of the turdy pie. He is tired and alone down here in the iron walled panic room. The only regular visitors now are Herschel walker and the pillow guy. Hell hath no fury like a bleach boy scorned. It would be nice if he were to spare the décor is regularly scheduled flailings with the failing swing of a five iron, though. There is very little left of the previous presidents mementos shared for the long term future. He has managed to decimate all vestiges of his predecessors reign- the dewey defeats Truman painting, the ‘I like ike’ tina turner nude, the jfk life sized donut from the berlin wall, lbj’s ‘don’t mess with texas’ Kevlar vest and dallas cowboys throne, nixon’s life sized cardboard rendition of he and elvis, Gerald ford’s Michigan wolverine protective gear and framed photo of squeaky fromme, the ‘billy beer’ neon sign, Reagans lego berlin wall, George hw bush portrait of he and another aviator looking very chummy in ww2, Clintons very large labeled cigar collection, geo juniors baseball cards- but he can/t do anything about this 20’x10’ Obama portrait that is resistant to the 5 iron or the blow torch or the countless dr pepper bottles- as I watch, he reaches into the pocket of his soiled khaki’s and pulls out a 4 seasons total landscaping sharpie and writes ‘looser’ underneath 44’s jordans, and stalks away screamin ‘MIKEY BETTER BREAK OUT YOUR PARDON PEN, ONE FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY, EXCEPT FOR THAT NIECE OF MINE, AND MY SISTER THE FAKE SISTER.’ I don’t want to tell him that those vents lead to Lafayette park and even with a bullhorn , his dying demands don’t make it 10 feet, or that the two mikes have both been arrested in a maryland motel with two male prostitutes , a suitcase full of shekels,and 4 british passports in their real names. “ILL BE BACK IN 2024- HEY YOU- GET ME MY WHITE SECRET SERVICE GUY’- he screams in my direction. I have no idea what he is talking about. I am his secret service guy. His mind is more in the mud than usual, and we just keep hoping that he gets hold of junior and does one for Bud. There are surveillance cameras everywhere down here. One of his loyal little minions is sure to make a killing when the shit finally hits the fan. I haven’t seen since feckless and unbridled rage since Bannon was busted in his build the wall scam. Even the Russians wouldn’t buy those tapes, telling the seller that they already had footage of an elephant with eczema. But was it this particular elephant? The diaper don waddles away forgetting what he wanted in the first place- screaming at the golf on the tv now and wondering aloud if bolsonaro had sorted his safe house. ‘NO EXTRADITION BABY, THAT’S WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT’ There has been so much of this shite talk, that we/ve all blocked it out. All the short straws drawn on Monday night know that we/re off to South Florida, soon as someone fucks some sense into him. Word on the street is that he’s trying to get florida to secede and sign a no extradition treaty. Fine by me so long as they still have baseball. There’s even a rumor that we will take a fake Air force one and ‘disappear’ over the Bermuda triangle with a gaggle of plastic surgeons stationed somewhere in south florida for major reconstructive operations on the cretins in question rendering them unrecognizeable in witness protection. But how do they change that voice, that voice that will forever linger in the ears of billions – that tepid tone garbled syntax, Adderall and false bravado- that voice will carry on in the nightmares of a nation no matter how successful the operation.